Can We Be Friends?

One of my favourite things to do is on a Sunday go down to the Ricoh Coliseum and see the Toronto Marlies. I have to say I really appreciate this AHL team being in town, it certainly gives one an option to see some good hockey for an affordable price and also unlike the Leafs, the Marlies actually win most of their games. One of the tackiest things at the Marlies games are the Marlies girls. These are six beautiful girls, that represent a sort of cheerleading section, but they don’t chant anything, they basically just dance at different points of the game. I call it tacky because their dance moves are about as intricately choreographed as a highschool musical.

On one particular Sunday I took one of my female friends to the game and our seats were quite good, we were in the front row of the middle section, and at one point in the game the Marlies girls were pretty much dancing right in front of us. So after the period was over the Marlies girls moved over to another area of the arena and as they were leaving, to one of the girls I playfully said “bye, I’ll miss you!”

While the Marlies girl herself smiled, the woman that I had taken to the game, completely freaked out on me. Now as I said before, I am not romantically linked with this person. The reason why she freaked out, is because she thought it was rude of me to be flirtatious even though I was in her company. When I used the retort of us being merely friends, she said that it didn’t matter because the Marlies girl didn’t know that, and niether did anyone else that we were sitting in the vicinity of who also heard my comment. I have to say I found this rather hilarious, because were the situation reversed and my friend flirted with a guy it wouldn’t have bothered me in the least regardless of what other people thought or didn’t know.

Since then, I have either gone to the Marlies games by myself or with a guy friend of mine from highschool. In both of those cases I am at liberty to make flirtatious comments to random women without any repercussions. But I have to say in my experience this is one of many situations that has lead me to question whether or not a guy and a girl can really be friends?

Now, the fact that I have female friends that are probably reading this will probably use the circumstance swiftly in retort to what I am writing. I am not throwing a nail in the coffin, saying that it absolutely can’t happen, because obviously it has happened. I am just posing the question, because in my experience I have just noticed it being more challenging to be friends with a woman than with a guy.

I guess this can partly speak to my status as a single heterosexual guy. I am highly appreciative of all the friendships that I have forged in my life past and present, regardless of gender. I cherish all those relationships very much. But now that I am well into my 30s, and am less into the idea of casual dating, I am thinking of instituting a “no friend” clause….yes another hockey reference…sue me.

I haven’t dated anyone for the last few months, meaning literally no one, and while some smart ass women could be reading this ready to shell out the “bitter” remark, I am actually the happiest I have been in awhile. I’m really not even looking right now, I’m just not interested. I have honestly just distracted myself with things that make me feel good. I have been on a major health kick which has shown me some progress, I throw myself into my spoken word pretty heavily so that also keeps me busy. I go to the movies, the Marlies games of course, go do some writing or read a book in a cafe, and a bunch of other things that are just guaranteed to make me feel good.

I’m not going to say “to hell with women, I don’t need them,” Shit I don’t know if I’ll ever say that. I will say though, that I am shooting for the moon, I’m looking for a thunderbolt, a woman where there’s no looking back, cause frankly a series of random coffee dates that end in “Can we still be friends?” just isn’t in the cards for me right now. I’m not gonna be the guy to lavish attention just for the sake of lavishing attention and I’m certainly not gonna be the guy you come running to when the asshole you passed on me for ends up taking a piece out of you. I am turning 32 in March, and only now am I learning that I am worth a hundred times more than that.

For all the female friends of mine reading this, you are my friends because there is far more depth to you than the random girl at a coffee date, in fact our friendship should speak for itself, cause there is actually some solid foundation behind the word “friend” when it comes to you. I’m sure in the very near future we’ll have a drink, see a movie, have an enlightening conversation at a cafe, or have breakfast…I’m sure of it….it won’t just be after I get my heartbroken again.

~ by sicilianspokenword on February 10, 2008.